When I completed my 100th different parkrun event at Hazelwood, I didn't realise at the time that it was also my last of the 20* parkruns in the historic county of Middlesex. This milestone only became important later on when I started looking for new parkrun challenges to tick off. I'd previously completed LonDone and the Channel Islands Region. Next up would be the South East England region but there were 84 of them and I'd only run 26, so it would take ages. I needed some smaller, more frequent hits, and the mini-regionnaires of the Historic Counties would do the job.

The Historic County of Middlesex has been chopped and changed over the years and technically ceased to exist as an administrative area back in 1965 when it was mostly swallowed up by the creation of Greater London. Yet, this "ghost county" stubbornly refuses to die. Its name, literally meaning the territory of the 'Middle Saxons' (sitting right between Wessex, Essex, and Sussex), lives on in county cricket, university titles, and the staunch refusal of many residents to drop it from their postal addresses. You'll also still spot its historic emblem—three notched swords known as seaxes—scattered across local coats of arms. Most relevant to the parkrun geek, Middlesex is proudly displayed in the address of parkrun Headquarters that can be found at the bottom of every page on parkrun.org.uk. A pilgrimage to the parkrun HQ would be a fitting end to the Middlesex mini-regionnaire.

So, as a part of a different micro-adventure, I headed towards Eel Pie Island. This is a quaint, quirky place in the Thames just off the Twickenham riverside. I'd read about it and its interesting musical history a few years ago and had wanted to check it out. Discovering that it's now the Global HQ for parkrun meant that I had to go immediately. I wasn't really sure what to expect though. I had visions of a sprawling HQ complex, maybe under a volcano, with Paul Sinton-Hewitt at the centre of it, stroking his cat and surveying a huge map of the world, planning his next country to conquer.

As it turned out there were no volcanoes and if there was a sprawling complex it was well hidden. Although you can walk onto the island over a footbridge, there's no access to Phoenix Wharf where the offices are. There are some cute cottages along a quiet footpath but no obvious signs of a global HQ. I assumed that the secrecy was for a reason. They're probably in league with the Illuminati and the Bilderberg Group is probably also behind the fence. Assuming I was being watched by parkrun's crack security militia I decided to retreat before being captured, never to be seen again.

*at the time

Completing Middlesex parkun

If you've done LonDone, you've pretty much also done Middlesex as it's only Hazelwood that sits outside of the Greater London region. The other odd exception is Oak Hill. It's the only North-West London event that's not within the Middlesex boundary, due to an oddly shaped scoop of old Hertfordshire that plucks it out from its neighbours. I'm now hoping for a new parkrun to be set up in Wrotham Park as it would have the honour of being the only event that's inside old Middlesex but outside of Greater London.